Trick or Treat
by sharingank
Summary: Tobi had been in a strange mood all day. DeiTobi.


I wrote this about a year ago on LJ, and since it's nearing Halloween, I figured now was as good a time as any to post it here. You'll probably recognize Sasuke the cat. :D I hope everyone enjoys!

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**Trick or Treat**

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Tobi had been in a strange mood all day. Well…strange for Tobi, that is. As far as Deidara was concerned, Tobi and strangeness went hand in hand. 

Though Deidara himself wasn't exactly the epitome of normal human being. Normal human beings weren't members of Akatsuki, first of all. And they probably wouldn't have a penchant for blowing things up, nor would they have mouths in their palms.

Okay, so Deidara was strange, too. But at least he hadn't flitted around headquarters putting up decorations—fake spider webs, cardboard cut-outs of skeletons and witches, foam tombstones—while wearing antennae with miniature jack-o-lanterns attached to the ends.

The jack-o-lanterns were battery powered, and they blinked on and off at intervals that made no sense. One second the right pumpkin would flash, and then it'd stop and the left one would flash, and then they'd both flash together, but the flashing could last anywhere from a few seconds to a minute.

Deidara wasn't sure what was worse—the fact that Tobi actually bought a pumpkin headband, or the fact that he couldn't stop staring at the stupid thing because he wanted to figure out how the intervals worked.

An hour of intense scrutiny—while Tobi carried on in oblivion—had yielded no satisfactory explanation, and Deidara had developed a headache, so he sprawled on the couch with his eye closed and listened to Tobi whistle.

"All Hallow's Eve isn't a joke, you fucking moron. What the hell is all this shit?"

Deidara cracked his eye open. Hidan prodded a spider web with a fingertip, his expression one of extreme distaste. Nothing unusual there. He always looked pissed. Except for when he was caught up in one of his spiritual orgasms. Deidara still didn't understand how he got off on impaling himself, but to each his own.

Tobi paused in the middle of stringing a set of bat-shaped lights over the mantel of the fireplace to glance at Hidan. "You don't like the decorations, Hidan-san? I think they're festive!"

Deidara snorted, though he didn't say anything. Leave it to Tobi to completely miss the point.

Hidan blinked. "Are those _pumpkins_ on your head?"

"Yeah!" Tobi said excitedly. "Aren't they great?" He flicked one, and it bobbed about like a drunken sailor.

"Oh dear _God_." Hidan had his eyes lifted skyward, as if he were imploring his bloodthirsty deity to smite Tobi dead with lightening. "I need to sacrifice something, seriously," he muttered as he edged out of the room. "Fucking _pumpkins_…"

Tobi turned his masked face on Deidara. "Did I make him mad, Deidara-senpai?"

He snorted again. "Maybe."

Tobi mulled that over for a bit, the jack-o-lanterns blinking, and then he shrugged. "Well I hope he doesn't _stay_ mad. I wanted everyone to play games together and tell ghost stories tonight. I'll apologize to him once I finish this." He jiggled the string of bat lights, not expecting the small, black cat to come flying out of nowhere in pounce mode and attack his leg.

"Whoa!"

Deidara sat up so fast he almost gave himself whiplash and eyed the cat wearily. If that_ thing_ came anywhere _near_ him, he'd bomb it. No doubt his allergies would start acting up soon, anyway…

"For heaven's sake, Sasuke, haven't I told you not to run away like that?"

Itachi stood by the coffee table, brows raised in mild disapproval. The cat—Sasuke—immediately stopped trying to claw up Tobi's leg to bat at the lights and sat on its haunches, tail swishing back and forth.

"There, now," Itachi said, and crooked a finger. "Come."

Lithely, the cat sprang to its feet and trotted to its master, who bent down and scooped it up in one arm.

"Good boy." He scratched the cat behind the ears. "You're much better behaved than the original."

Deidara sneezed. "Damn it…Itachi…take him someplace else, wouldja?" He sneezed again.

Having recovered from the initial fright, Tobi found his voice. "Deidara-senpai's allergic to cats," he explained, checking to see if his pants had gotten ripped.

"Ah," Itachi said absently, his gaze sweeping about the room. It lingered on Tobi's headgear the longest. "Interesting. I'd forgotten today was Halloween."

Deidara sneezed yet again. "_Itachi_…"

The slayer of the Uchiha clan looked at Deidara as if he'd never seen him before, and then the corner of his mouth quirked up.

"Yes, yes, I'll be going then."

Still scratching Sasuke, he strolled away at a leisurely pace, and Deidara vowed he'd kill both him _and_ the cat.

"Bastard…that guy is the biggest bastard ever, un. He's a bigger bastard than Sasori-danna—" One final sneeze.

"Are you okay, Deidara-senpai?" Tobi hadn't found any tears in his pants, though his leg stung. He coiled the lights and set them on top of the mantle, then hurried to the couch. "Do you need medicine? Zetsu-san might have something for allergies. I could go ask him."

Deidara rubbed the side of his nose. "No, I'm fine." He noticed that Tobi was wringing his hands—most likely in worry, though he didn't want to delve into that—and added, "Er…thanks. I'm fine, Tobi."

But Tobi remained where he was. "Are you sure?" His voice had grown quiet, gentle. Deidara didn't _quite_ recoil, but he did scoot back a little.

It would've been different if this hadn't happened before, but it had. More than once. Tobi using that same tone of voice. Tobi willing to drop everything he was doing no matter how much it inconvenienced him to make sure Deidara was okay.

And Deidara wasn't used to that. He grew up fending for himself.

"Yeah. I'm sure, un."

They stared at each other in silence until Tobi reached up and removed the antennae. The jack-o-lanterns flashed on and off. "Deidara-senpai…" Tobi kneeled on the floor beside the couch, right next to where Deidara sat. "Trick or treat?"

"_Huh_?"

Tobi chuckled, then drew his mask up. "Trick or treat?" He repeated, a whisper this time. Not allowing Deidara the chance to choose, he leaned in and kissed him.

"Better finish putting up the decorations," he said afterward, mask and antennae returned to their proper places.

He hadn't said if the kiss was a trick or a treat.

Deidara thought it was a bit of both.


End file.
